Biggest Loser Half Way

This past Saturday was my half way point in the biggest loser comp.

I weighted EXACTLY the same. 

I busted my fricking ass last week. 

I ate like 99% clean, I worked out every day. 

I gave it my all at the gym... I'm STILL sore. 

I was so excited to weigh in, while my goal was 2 pounds I was hoping for one. 

When I saw the exact same number as last week, I wanted to cry. 

I know its a journey, and it's not over yet. 

I know I should be proud of my NSV just as much as my number on the scale. 

I was really upset. 

I have never gotten upset over the number on the scale before. 

EVER. 

I have been upset with the way I look and the way I feel, but I have never felt the way I did on Saturday. 

I was sick of working out and I wanted to eat whatever I wanted. 

This was a wake up call for me, because honestly I love going to the gym. 

I love eating clean and healthy and the way I feel, but that stupid little number made me resent that, and start doubting myself. 

I texted some of my friends hoping they would wallow in my pool of self-pity with me, but they wouldn't. 

Bitches.

They told me to not get discouraged and keep going. 

To remember how far I've come 

Found this GEM on our old camera.

This weekend was jam packed with Christmas stuff, and on the way to weigh in Mabel asked me if we could listen to Christmas music. 

I never really get into the holiday spirit, but all of a sudden I was overcome with excitement and happiness that I have my own little family to start traditions with and enjoy the spirit of Christmas. 

Then I weighed in...

Every thing changed. 

I hated the world, and I was so angry. 

This mood didn't go away all weekend. 

Looking back I feel horrible. 

I should have been happy and living in the moment, moments that I will never get back, but instead I was stuffing my face with poptarts (pumpkin pie flavored which are bomb btw). 

Then I felt as horrible as I was acting, which just made it even worse. 

GAH I'm getting angry at myself as I'm writing this!

SO I'm breaking up with the scale for a little while. 

Until after the holidays. 

I don't need that negativity in my life right now, I need some lovins on my kids. 

I love going to the gym, and I don't want to resent my morning workouts. 

Next weekend we are going to visit my mom, and I'm going to make healthy choices the entire time. 

Not because I'm worried about gaining, but because they make me feel better. 

I also took halfway progress pictures this weekend. 

I see a difference which just proves that I need a break from the scale even more. 

As far as the weekend that I wasn't fully present for, the kids saw Santa...

Chip hated it.

Mabel loved it

We got our tree

I won with a brown and gold, glittery animal print ornament. 

We played in the snow (which is still coming down).

And I almost died at the grocery store.

I hope everyone is safe and warm today! Tomorrows theme for This or That has perfect Timing. 

Fashionable snow boots, practical snow boots?

Hat, ear muffs?

Snowed in, playing out in the snow?

Sledding, snow tubing?

Almost winter, Winter’s almost over?