I never buy swimsuits, and as embarrassing as it is I usually go to the lake in a sports bra and black underwear.
It's cheap and it's the same thing.
It also fits me and I feel comfortable.
Since I've been active about my health and getting in shape my husband said it would be nice to have a nice bathing suit this year.
I agreed and he picked one out for me.
I tried it on to show him, and also to take pictures to send to the blogwives.
Those bishes are my support group.
I took the pictures and then I cried.
I hated the way I looked.
I hated how my hips were spilling over the suit, and how the cut immediately drew your eyes to my hips.
I hated how my boobs weren't were they should be and how my hips looked like they were connected.
The girls assured me I looked fine and said how they loved the "photo-bombers"
A few days later I also sent them to my cousin to show her why I would not be attending the beach any time soon.
Her immediate response...
"Mabel is adorbs"
Then it hit me, and I started crying for a whole new reason.
Here I am looking at myself in these pictures, focusing on all of my problem areas, and not even noticing the important things.
Why am I even doing this whole journey to get active and healthy?
To be with my kids
Why am I preaching healthy choices and getting outside?
For my kids.
Why am I EVEN BUYING A SWIMSUIT??
To BE WITH MY KIDS!
Yet here I am crying in my bedroom over two pictures which just so happen to be some damn cute pictures of my kids.
My son loves my love handles. What else is he going to grab on to when he's screaming for milk and trying to climb up my body.
My daughter loves working out with me, because she loves the time with me, not how my body looks.
So here they are, not pictures of my ill-fitting swimsuit.
Not the pictures that brought me to tears.
Not the pictures of my problem areas that I still have to work on, but a picture of
my daughter with her best pose, and my son wondering what the hell I'm looking at.