Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Sad day for Donuts.

Yesterday morning got off to a rough start. I got a bad email so I started the whole day with a F it attitude. This lead to me stopping at Dunkins and ordering a donut to go with my coffee.
Then I got to work and it was just more of the same. 
A few girls from another local office stopped by with two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. 
We work in an office of THREE PEOPLE. Three... there is three of us. for 24 donuts. 
I also work in the front end directly next to the break room where I placed said donuts and stared and smelled at them all day. Then I had 4. Not one, not two, but four. 

I was feeling really shitty about myself and didn't want to eat any more so I ran to the grocery store for some good snack options. Next thing I know I'm eating a Butterfinger in the car on the way back to work. 
Seriously What the Fuck is wrong with me. 

I get it we all have bad days, and the best thing to do is look forward and go from here. 
But Jebus how many time so I have to let a little slip up turn into a full day binge. 
I know what to do. I preach healthy eating all the time. WHY DO I STILL HAVE NO WILL POWERRRRR. 
Can I buy that shit somewhere because for real. 

I felt like crap after my eating frenzy because I don't really do gluten so that  nice overload made my stomach hate me. 
But more than anything I was so mad. 
I know better. 
I know what to do, and yet I find myself in this spot again and again. 

It's absolutely insane what a mind fuck dieting or transitioning or cleaning up your diet, whatever you want to call it is. 

I go to the grocery store with my meal plan in hand and I know which foods to buy and which foods to avoid and then I see huge signs that tell me about the 30 million new flavors of Oreos. I think the food industry has be bugged. I still at home dreaming of binging on a birthday cake or a rootbeer float, and the food industry is like, Let me make everything in those two flavors because we love Candra. 

I know what to do. I know I can do this. I think I can I think I can. 
One day at a time. One bite at a time. It's okay to indulge, it's not okay to overindulge. 
I have 8 weeks until my photo shoot with La. 
While this photo shoot is a present for the hubs.. shit I hope he isn't reading this...
I'm doing it for me. 
I know Lauren will work her magic and make the pictures look amazing, but only I can make sure that, that whole time I FEEL amazing. 
Only me. 
Only I can do this. 

I told Lauren this morning it's like I know how to tie my shoes, but I don't want to bother with bending down so I'll just risk walking around and possibly tripping all day. 

Thanks Ryan... sometimes I forget. 


  1. The struggle is real! I haven't learned how to indulge without over indulging... not enough willpower in this brain of mine.

  2. We were ALL eating shit yesterday... haha! Today is a fresh start, yada yada yada! ;)

  3. I ate my weight in white cheddar popcorn yesterday. It happens!

  4. The struggle is real FOR SURE!! I wish I had better will power, you can do it girly! Just stay positive and today is a new day

  5. For real, girl! I am the same way with chips. I will buy a little vending machine bag... that turns into me rolling around on the floor with Dororitos in and around my mouth. Then I feel like shit and hate myself, but the next day I just magically don't do that. I have no idea why some days are just awesome and others are pure shit. PMS has something to do with it I'm sure.

  6. donuts are the fucking devil dude! The new guy at work brought donuts in 3 days in a row... fresh hot donuts. #killme
    I was able to have willpower 2 of the 3 days but on that 3rd day I was eating donut holes like it was no ones business. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!

  7. All I could think about while reading allll that was...what was the email about?? HAHA!!! Nosey much!??

  8. Will power sucks and I feel like once you give into one thing, you're like fuck it lets go all out! I have lost all my willpower for like 2 weeks and just got back on the wagon Monday, let me tell you I had the fiercest headache from detoxing from sugar :( YOU WILL look awesome for that shoot, I know it!

  9. Hey girl,
    Stop eating crap.
    xoxo Me:)

    What kind of photo shoot are you doing for your hubs? A sexy one?? I would love to do that when I get to goal--but I have two boys and would freak if they saw the pics--maybe I could hide them?

  10. Ok, Ryan! If you say so! ;)
    I'm in the same rut! WE MUST PULL THROUGH! :)

  11. Awwwww we've all been there; you can do it!!!

  12. Dude... it's like I wrote this post. I really don't think willpower exists - like it's not a real thing. Because if it is, I have none of it... I missed that gene somewhere. I would also like to know where you can buy that shit, or where people find it.... SO NOT FAIR.

    I think I literally ate 5x the amount of food I was supposed to over the last week... like Monday I was like, "Okay cool, I've 3 points for dinner... three points is like nothing. So instead I'm going to have french fries, covered in carne asada, cheese, sour gream, and guacamole. Yeah. That's the best decision ever."


    Anyways. I hear you. 100%, loud and clear. We may as well be in the same boat.

  13. Every day is a new day, today may not have been the greatest but we get tomorrow to try it out again!

  14. Girl we all have those days. What's important is that we don't let it consume (no pun intended) our week, months, years. I know you'll be back on your good eating train and the upset tummy will remind you if do it again

  15. OMG donuts are my weaknesssssss!! It's donut day at work today. There are 6 dozen in the room next to me. I'm trying soooo hard not to eat more than a half of one. We'll see.

  16. Lol. Gosh I know lots of people that yolo. And I've been one many times. We all have shitty days. Grrr