Then I got to work and it was just more of the same.
A few girls from another local office stopped by with two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts.
We work in an office of THREE PEOPLE. Three... there is three of us. for 24 donuts.
I also work in the front end directly next to the break room where I placed said donuts and stared and smelled at them all day. Then I had 4. Not one, not two, but four.
I was feeling really shitty about myself and didn't want to eat any more so I ran to the grocery store for some good snack options. Next thing I know I'm eating a Butterfinger in the car on the way back to work.
Seriously What the Fuck is wrong with me.
I get it we all have bad days, and the best thing to do is look forward and go from here.
But Jebus how many time so I have to let a little slip up turn into a full day binge.
I know what to do. I preach healthy eating all the time. WHY DO I STILL HAVE NO WILL POWERRRRR.
Can I buy that shit somewhere because for real.
I felt like crap after my eating frenzy because I don't really do gluten so that nice overload made my stomach hate me.
But more than anything I was so mad.
I know better.
I know what to do, and yet I find myself in this spot again and again.
It's absolutely insane what a mind fuck dieting or transitioning or cleaning up your diet, whatever you want to call it is.
I go to the grocery store with my meal plan in hand and I know which foods to buy and which foods to avoid and then I see huge signs that tell me about the 30 million new flavors of Oreos. I think the food industry has be bugged. I still at home dreaming of binging on a birthday cake or a rootbeer float, and the food industry is like, Let me make everything in those two flavors because we love Candra.
I know what to do. I know I can do this. I think I can I think I can.
One day at a time. One bite at a time. It's okay to indulge, it's not okay to overindulge.
I have 8 weeks until my photo shoot with La.
While this photo shoot is a present for the hubs.. shit I hope he isn't reading this...
I'm doing it for me.
I know Lauren will work her magic and make the pictures look amazing, but only I can make sure that, that whole time I FEEL amazing.
Only I can do this.
I told Lauren this morning it's like I know how to tie my shoes, but I don't want to bother with bending down so I'll just risk walking around and possibly tripping all day.
|Thanks Ryan... sometimes I forget.|