Except when I woke up this morning to go ham at the gym our bedroom door didn't even make one squeak before BOTH kids were SCREAMING in their beds.
I stood still for about 3 hours, which I considered a workout and tried to start my day when they were finally quite.
I have never peed so quietly in my life.
When you become a mom, you also become part ninja.
Bet you didn't read that in those baby books!
You get lots of practice when they are infants and you tip toe out of their room when they finally fall asleep, but the real fun comes when they get a little older and you remember
"Oh wait I'm a human too and I like to do things"
You find yourself silencing your pee and not flushing until they wake up... don't act like you don't do it,
eating cookies in the closet and inhaling the crumbs as soon as you hear those sticky little fingers on the door knob.
You also learn how to open doors, cabinets, toy boxes, etc with your toes since your hands are permanently full.
If you are like me and your box spring decided it wants to try out for Tin-Man in the next rendition of The Wizard of Oz, you also get in a full yoga workout trying to wiggle your way out of bed without waking up those sweet cherubs.
You can quote me, and even curse my name, but just when you think you have got your ninja skills down and you might be able to get out of the bedroom in time to watch The Big Bang Theory,
or get to the gym with enough time to do an actual workout and not just weigh yourself
you will forget that you moved that baby gate, and that you put those legos/dolls/matchbox cars on the floor right next to the door because you were being ninja last night,
It will of course, make the most noise humanly possible, and your ninja license will be temporarily revoked.
To top it off when you finally get the kids back to sleep,
your husband will come out and slam the door, flush the toilet, start a band with the pots and pans, and turn on the T.V. and those sweet little babies
will not even budge......