Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Being a Woman is Great....

So I'm writing this post between my tear drops falling on the keyboard
Don't worry nothing horrible happened no one died
Except for maybe my self esteem...
You know how you play those get to know you games and people always ask 
"What's your most embarrassing story?" 
Well I've never really had one
I mean I have some good stories 
  • Like the time I fell down the main stairs in the middle of school
  • The time I threw up on someone's lap on a plane 
  • The time I fell off my bike an chipped my teeth because I was drunk 
  • The time I farted in front of my husband (then boyfriend) and he thought it was someone's septic overflowing...

Yeah I got loads of them but none I them gave me that "I want to die" I'm so embarrassed feeling.

Until this week... twice. 

It's no secret I have two babes 
Mabel's delivery was no dream.
She was pretty comfortable in their and decided to hold on for dear life
45 stitches and two blood transfusions later (me not her) she learned to deal with the outside world.

Apparently when you have this type of tearing there are some "after effects" 
Yeah thanks for that heads up baby books.

Fast forward to three years later and I'm running on the treadmill feeling on top of the world 
My run is going awesome I'm in full on beast mode 
Pumping my fists in the air because I'm fucking awesommmmmeeee
Then I realize I'm really sweaty but only in my crotch area....
Like literally no where else.
Turns out that's not possible but apparently 
Pissing yourself at the gym is!!!
All my friends were so supportive....


Whatever I got over it picked myself up even bought some super cute new running leggings!! 
Wal-mart... HOLLA!

I woke up early this morning put on my new pants, took my preworkout, and skipped to the gym
Okay I drove but whatever 
I got in my stride really early in my run and it was going great. I finished the whole run and jumped off the treadmill like a BAMF 
Grabbed a towel to wipe down the machine, looked down...

And decided I needed to seriously re-think my life.

I started my period. 
Not just started it 
Like full on middle school girl in white pants at the front of the class, started
I'm surprised no one thought I was a stabbing victim and called 911.

What. The. Fuck. 

Thankfully I Martha Stewart'ed the hell out of those pants and they are good. 

Please someone tell me this only happens to the coolest people at the gym or that you know "someone" who has a worse story.

On the bright side (if thats possible). It's Wednesday and that means it's time for my #getupgetmoving challenge.

If I can bust this out after literally wanting to die this morning you can take one minute out of your day!!

Downward Dog Pushups.
Keep your feet hip width apart, and back straight. Use your shoulders and arms!

Look who figured out how to add videooooo.
It was pretty easy once I found that whole "load video" button on the top....

See how many you can do in 1 minute. Challenge your friends and see if they can beat you! If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook post your number there and tag a friend!

It's only one minute you can do it!


  1. Haha omg. Well at least you got a good workout in!

  2. Oh my gosh! You poor thing but you know what, I'm sure that you weren't the first to do that & you won't be the last to do that. However, you may want to start wearing a pad when working out to catch the pee &/or blood. Ha! ;)

  3. Oh wow!!!! Thats awful. Im sorry... but you still worked out... and the whole starting your period thing happens to me all the time in the worst places ever!

  4. OMGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I am not the only one who has pissed themselves at the gym?! HOLLAHHHH! You are not the only one I can assure you of that!

  5. The pee thing totally happens to me too, and I haven't even had kids (so I assume it will be really bad after I push a few out) But anyway, I had a personal trainer for a while and he was super into jumping rope. So there I am jumping rope and I start peeing on myself, so I had to like slow down to try and stop this... and there is my trainer yelling at me to keep going, little did he know I was peeing on myself so I had no freaking choice but to slow down!

    The end. Haha, thanks for admitting this happens to you too!

  6. Oh thank goodness I am not the only one! I vowed not to take certain classes in public because during jumping jacks and some 30 Day Shred moves I leak and leak!

    Thanks for sharing though - it makes all of us that don't mention it feel better we are not the only ones :)

  7. I'm with ya on the peeing thing, I've had two kiddos myself and well, my advise is to also avoid coughing or sneezing while on the treadmill as well. Or sneezing in general.

    No worries!! You aren't the only one!

  8. I have run to the bathroom in the middle of class with my trainer! I'm just glad that I work out with a great group of women. I seriously wear a liner for pretty much all hard workouts, just in case. For a different embarrassing workout story my friend was teaching a group exercise class and split her pants- a giant tear that there was no denying.

  9. Yeah, I've definitely had the period thing happen to me, at least it wasn't at work or school for me though!

  10. You poor thing...I'm thinking adult diapers are the way to go when going to the gym. Do they make ones that you can't see under compression pants?? HMMMM I'll invent some for you, only because I love ya!! Although I do enjoy your embarrassing texts. LMAO!

  11. Oh my goddddd. I just can't even begin to imagine. My only truly murderous period moments have happened first thing in the morning in my pj pants & not in public. But now that I've said this, it'll probably happen.

  12. Oh no! I would seriously die!
    it's awesome that you can look back at it and just laugh it of :)

  13. Hahahaha oh no! I am sorry for laughing, but as a mom I totally know how you feel. Since giving birth I have um, messed my pants a few times while being sick. It's so awful. Why must we continue to be tortured after birth!!! You're a trooper!

  14. OMG! I have secondhand embarrassment for you :-(

    The period thing, though, I can sympathize with. You'd think I was starring in my own remake of Murder, She Wrote (In Her Pants) every month. TMI, I know. :-(

  15. No audience... just one more reason I am so thankful I have my own personal gym in my basement ... :)