Changing My Name to Kandra

Yesterday a friend and I were talking about guilty pleasure tv shows and the most obvious one came up

Keeping up with the Kardashians. 

While I love to hate this show, if there is a marathon on... I watch it. 

It's like the perfect white noise show. 

I don't even care judge away. 

I also def wish I was a Kardashian. 

Not for the obvious reasons like fame and money, while I'll take those also, 

but for other more important things (as important as Kardashian related things can be)

So today I bring you. 

5 Reasons I'm Changing My Name To Kandra

To Call a Family Meeting. 

Seriously they do it all the time and no one bats an eye. 

They all just fly in from where ever they were just having lunch and sit down at the biggest dining room table ever and talk about whether or not Khloe needs to re-shape her eyebrows. 

If I try to call a family meeting for something actually important like you know our living wills or our BUDGET. I get the side eye and I'm left sitting by myself at our just barely big enough dining room table that's currently covered in non kitchen items. 

To Take Spontaneous Trips. 

On one episode the mom ( I'm currently spacing her name... I'm already out of the family) takes a trip to Sonoma to do some wine tasting and bike riding. 

Why?

Because it seems like fun. 

I agree it seems like an amazing time. Let me just plan a babysitter, starting saving my hard earned paychecks, stress and re-plan. Cancel because I'm having mom guilt. Re-book and then stress again.. 

Looks like my schedule is wide open in 2030. 

To try new Active Endeavors. 

Like naked yoga.

 

I mean sure I could try this any time I wanted. 

But I live in New Hampshire. 

And I'm broke... 

So there would be no personal session

It would be me and about 15 elderly people.... naked... in awkward positions. 

To Get my Hair and Makeup Done. 

It's always perfect, all the time. 

Granted they sit in the makeup chair for hours and mine takes 5 min, but I could be sleeping during that. 

I was feeling a little lazy this morning and didn't do my makeup. 

My boss asked me if I was feeling okay and if I needed to go home.... awesome. 

To Use Ridiculous Words in Everyday Conversation

Troll. 

Bible

Awko-Taco

My current vocabulary slang words consist more of these

Wipies

Pow-pow

Night-nights. 

Diapies

...yeah not so cool.