Monday, September 9, 2013

My Little Chippy Loot Loot

My husband and I knew right away that we wanted to have a baby while I was still in Grad school, so that I wouldn't need to take time off right in the beginning of my career.
Little did we know my career would be very SLOOOOW starting.
Thats another story all together.
We got pregnant on the first try and I was stepping into Grad school 4 weeks preggo.
The Hubs was in such disbelief he made me text him this picture.
I went to school for Conservation Biology which means LOTS of outdoor classes.
I knew it was going to be tough, but I'm a tough cookie and I knew I could handle it.
The whole pregnancy was relatively easy.
I mean I went on a 4 hour hike the day I WAS DUE.

Mabel listening to the heartbeat
Every appointment everything was spot on.
I was a little sick, but nothing I couldn't handle.
I ended up going past my due date, and I had to go in for an ultrasound to measure my amniotic fluid to determine when I should be induced.

That doctors appointment was the worst one of my entire life.
I had the ultra sound, and the tech looked at me, and I knew.
She asked us to wait in the waiting room and the doctor would be with us.
We were in the waiting room for an hour, and my husband was on his lunch break so he needed to go back to work.
I assured him it was fine, and that I would text him the results.
The nurse called me in and did the normal "get un-dressed from the waist down, blah blah"
The doctor comes in, and sits down, avoiding eye contact.
To this day I can tell you he was wearing a purple tie.
He told me they found a problem with my sons brain in the ultrasound,
 minutes suddenly turned into hours.
It felt like I was trying to hear everything he was saying as I was slowly being pulled under water, further and further.
I heard something about brain shunts and further ultra sounds and possible surgeries.
Nothing really kicked in until he told me to get dressed, because he didn't want me going into labor at this hospital.
Then he left.
I was all alone in that room, trying to pull myself together, and comprehend everything that was about to happen.
I called my husband and he lost it.
I have only seen him cry once, but I could tell he was falling apart faster than I was just by his voice.
The nurses told me they had scheduled an appointment for the next morning at another hospital.
2 hours away.
I met my husband at home, and we both cried.
We had no idea what was wrong, or what was going to happen.
I called the new hospital in the morning and asked if I should come prepared to deliver.
She told me to pack enough for a week or more.
Another blow.
I was to scared to tell my husband so I only packed for 2 days.
To say I didn't sleep that night is a crazy understatement.
We got to the new hospital sometime the next day.
Waiting for the second ultrasound.
We had the second ultrasound, and again the tech looks at me and tells me to wait for the doctor.
You know its something bad when only the doctor can tell you.
Another doctor came in and told me that they were really unsure what was going on.
At this point they thought he had a stroke in the womb, and they weren't sure what condition he was going to come out in.
They wanted to induce me right away, and they gave me the option of a c-section right away.
I am TERRIFIED of C-sections so I said no a million times.
We went right upstairs and checked into the maternity ward.
From that point we met every doctor in that building.... or so it seemed.
My labor progressed pretty rapidly.
Honeslty most of this part is a blur to me, everything happened so past.
I remember little things, like the doctor told me I was at a 9 and then he broke my water and I was a 7, and I wanted to punch him right in the face.
I delivered in the operation room, because they thought he might have to go right into surgery.
I remember the bright lights and a line of people in yellow suits head to toe standing behind it.
We had the entire pedicatric neuro surgery team, the NICU team, the genetisist, and 4 doctors in what felt like a hallway closet sized room.
My husband said they were like a pit-crew.
After I delievered the doctor cut the cord.
They needed to save all the cord blood for testing and possible transfusions so my husband couldnt do it.
They handed my son right over to the "pit crew"
and we waiting in silence.
It seemed like hours and hours were going by and then they brought my son over to me and put him on my chest.

They wheeled my bed back from the operating room to my maternity room, and I sat in awe.
I keep telling myself that if we were together everything must be okay right?
Later that day the doctors came in and ran through the list of tests they wanted to run on my newborn.
They had ruled out a stroke, but they still had a lot of unanswered questions.
All they knew was that there was a growth on his brain stem that was obstructing some of the normal paths in his head, like his optical nerves, and his glands.
He was going to need MRI's and nerve testing, and possible surgery as soon as the next week.
I wasn't ready to let him go, I had just got him.
On top of it I was two hours away from our 2 year old daughter. I had never been away from her before.
Later that night, Chip went in for his first MRI, and again I waited.

Come back tomorrow for Part 2.


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