One I'm excited to talk about and one I'm not.
First the good stuff so if you aren't up for bumming info you can stop reading half way through. I'll give you a warning!
Last night I went with my friend Becky to get my spray tan for my photo shoot on Thursday.
When she got to my house it started pouring and I kinda freaked out.
Spray tans can go very wrong very quickly.
I have had a spray tan before and I loved it, but this time I REALLY REALLY loved it.
The woman who did it was amazing. She was super skinny and in shape which made me want to hate her but she was so funny and sweet that it was impossible.
She was super professional so while she was telling me to lift up my ladies and stick out my bum I felt totally normal.
She works at Sunless Solutions in Bedford NH and you can find her facebook page here.
She does spray tans for events like weddings, photo shoots, and even fitness competitions.
I highly highly recommend her if you are in the area.
She's also really good about choosing a shade. She went darker for my friend and lighter for me to make it look more natural.
Her office was clean and welcoming and warm which is important when you are nakey.
A spray tan is $35 but if you bring a friend she takes $5 off.
While I'm not really where I was hoping to be, being tan always makes me feel so much better.
Every thing looks better with a tan.
Okay all you happy people stop reading here.
I also made an appointment with my primary doctor yesterday for something I have been meaning to see someone about for awhile.
My anxiety.
I feel like it's something I've always had but comes in waves. I also partook in more "recreational activities" when I was younger so I feel like maybe that helped? Or I just gave less shits
Either way, lately it has been through the roof.
I've had plenty of people tell me that I have no idea what anxiety is really like, and I can function just fine so I'm obviously okay but they don't know that when I lay down to go to sleep I feel like I'm drowning.
When I'm in the car by myself I feel like there is a rope around my chest and it's slowly getting tighter and tighter. Like the air is too thick to breath and if I don't talk myself down then I feel like I'm going to explode.
I hold everything in and then I scream at my kids because they aren't listening.
While my husband is supportive he just doesn't understand.
When I tell him my anxiety is really bad he asks me why.
That's the great thing about anxiety it's not one particular thing that causes it. It's just there. It manifests itself in different forms and at random times.
I don't have panic attacks, but I live my life every day feeling like I'm on the edge of one.
Running helps, working out helps, while I'm doing it.
That's a big reason why I'm a distance runner.
I can run for 2 hours and all I think about for two hours is running.
I've had a lot of added stress lately with finding a new job, student loans, bills.
While I really don't want to be put on medication, I would also really like some sleep.
So I made the appointment, we will go from there.
Anyone else out there in blog land dealing with this? What works for you?
Don't forget to come back tomorrow for The Little Things link up with Marla from Luck Fupus
I've been thinking about doing the same thing, the meds not the spray tan LOL. It doesn't matter if anyone else in the world understands, you know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI've dealt with Anxiety and Depression off and on for YEARS. I've been on meds that work for about 7 years now. Yes, I still have rough days but it's so much better. I've also found that meditation helps a lot for the anxiety. Plus exercise. I totally get what you're saying about running! For me it's lifting. Nothing else in my head at all is a beautiful thing.
ReplyDeleteI have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and severe depression so I can completely relate to what you're going thru. For years the doctors just told me I need to breathe... Which just made things worse for me. I finally started going to therapy and she called my doctor and said I needed to be put on medication because of how severe my disorder was. So we played around with a few meds before I found the one that really works for me. Throw a mild bipolar disorder in the mix and I'm really the hottest of messes ;) keep your chin up, girl. It gets better!
ReplyDeleteI hear you on this. I actually just called my doctor to make an appointment to talk to him about my anxiety. It's really frustrating talking to my fiance about it because it's not something he can fix. There isn't any one cause. It's not fixable with just making life less stressful. It's nice to hear someone else talk about this though!
ReplyDeleteI hope the doctor can help you out! I've never experienced anxiety but I hear it can be quite crippling!
ReplyDeleteWell, good for you! It's so hard to make the decision to medicate, but it can be such a blessing. I sure hope it helps because you simply should not have to feel so miserable and stressed out. All the best to you Candra!!
ReplyDeleteWoot woot!!! Spray tannin sexy lady! I had no idea they have different "shades" of spray tan, I always assumed it was one size fits all. I may have to partake.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're seeing the need to reach out to a doctor. I'm very pro Western medicine, and despite what I think about pharm companies, meds can be a wonderful thing. My husband Steve is the same way, supportive but doesn't "get it." Just kind of smile and nods. Good luck! <3 ,3 <3
I know EXACTLY what you're talking about with the anxiety please let me know what the doctor says because I am exactly the same way.
ReplyDeleteYes. I know exactly. This is also one of the reasons I am a distance runner!
ReplyDeletegood for you for making that appointment and being brave enough to share it with the world! I'm one of those people who keeps everything bottled up and then explodes, so I can appreciate when it becomes too much to handle. Like your running, I like to do yoga to keep it all at bay.
ReplyDeleteI had to bite the bullet & get myself on medication. I'm on anxiety/depression medication. Some days are still better than other even with the medication. But good luck & if you have any questions or anything, email me. Hugs! :)
ReplyDeleteLook into St. John's Wart/Hypericum Perforatum.
ReplyDeleteSpray tans freak me out. Lol
ReplyDeleteAnxiety sucks. I use to be medicated for years. I would actually be so excited to go hang out or have people over and then when the time came to actually do it I would get hot flashes, hyperventilate, and cry uncontrollably at the same time wanting to scream at everyone.
After being on Rx meds I went off them. Running has been my drug. It has kept me sane in the storm. Eating better has helped too. I never realized how bad my moods were when I consumed so much sugar. Anyways I still have bad days around Aunt Flo but I know it's coming and I'm aware of it and don't feel like a crazy person when it happens. Taking time at night to read or listen to chill music has helped too.
I think many people who have never dealt with it don't often "get it". Yes I look normal and put on a happy face, but inside I would be screaming. If you feel like you've tried everything than meds can help. You wouldn't drive without glasses if you needed them to see. :) sending you good vibes.
Good for you for making an appointment- that is often the scariest step! I struggle with a few different anxiety disorders and to be honest they make bipolar disorder (which I also have) look like a piece of cake. Anxiety controls my life even though I'm on medication and it's tough. You definitely need all the help you can get with it!
ReplyDeleteSo I had a VERY bad panic attack like 5 years ago and dealt with anxiety for about a year after that. I got help got off meds and some how started to function on my own. IF I had them it would be like 1 a year.. I have NO CLUE what has been in the air latley but they are back in full force.. as in I have taken myself to the dr to check my beathing and heart :( You are so not alone... if you ever need anyone to talk to I am always open :)
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