I Used to be Cool, I Promise

I used to be cool. 

Like really cool. 

I used to be the one people asked what the plan was for tonight, on a Tuesday. 

I was a waitress in a bar and I was in college. All my friends were either bartenders or fellow waitresses 

Usually we loved each other until someone looked better than you and then you hated them.

Unless someone on the outside said the same and then there were your ride or die again. 

I partied all night and worked the next day, all while some how finding time to get a degree. 

I went on two week camping trips to see bands play all over New England. 

I up and moved to Italy for 5 months, just to come home and plan my next move to India.

The only thing I took care of was a hamster.

I purchased funnels at the hardware store and had no intention of changing my oil.

Hell I didn't even use my car! 

The only math I practiced was the tip on my bar tab, and balancing my checkbook was out of the question. 

Yes, at one point I was so cool. 

Today I go to bed at 9, the only time I stay up all night is when I'm cleaning up puke. 

The most recent crazy story involves a line similar to "my daughter said..." or "my son ate..."

I have to head home after work to finish sewing a pair of pants.

If I do go out I have an alarm on my phone set for bedtime so I don't miss the latest episode of Doc McStuffins, otherwise I will be so lost next week.

While tonight after work I wasn't invited out to the bar (I still love you guys, and don't worry I totally get it), my daughter looked me in the eyes tonight and said

" Mom I'm so happy you still wipe my butt because I'm just too lazy" 

Yeah I'm still cool.