Biggest Loser # 1

That title makes me sound like I'm the #1 Biggest loser, which I kinda hope I am, but not in the normal sense!

So this Saturday I went for my weigh in and I'm down 3.2 lbs. 

This is exciting, but I'm not letting myself get too excited. 

Why?

I feel like I cheated. 

I knew I was going to weigh in last week for my "official starting weight" so I over indulged... big time. 

I even went out drinking the night before. 

He was in the middle of telling me how dumb this was.

Can anyone tell me why my front facing camera is so bad?!

I weighed in heavier than I normally do, and I lost that extra weight. 

I feel like I cheated myself, and you guys. 

I'm glad I dropped the extra pounds, but it doesn't feel like I really did. 

I also had a bad eating day this weekend. 

That's okay though, because bad days happen, bad WEEKS happen, but you pick yourself up and you get back out there. 

There really is no end goal, because it's on going. 

You have to re-program yourself into thinking that you make better choices because they make you 

FEEL BETTER. 

Not to mention look better. 

Everyone has a bad day of eating, or a bad run, or a moment of bad parenting, but it doesn't make you fail the whole thing. 

You have a million more days ahead of you.

You are still training for the marathon

You are still a parent. 

So overall I lost weight. 3.2 damn pounds, and that's pretty damn good. 

This week I'm going to be better, 

because I'm still alive

I have a choice

and I choose my health. 

I'm shooting for atleast a pound for this week's lose, maybe 2!

Leg Day... KILLED IT.

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Make sure you come back tomorrow for our This or That link up 90's edition

Here are the questions for tomorrow. 

1. Will Smith now, or Will Smith Then

2. Platform Sandles, or Clear Plastic Sandles

3. Tomagotchi's or Nano Babies

4. TGIF Line Up or Nick After Dark

5. JTT or Devon Sawa. 

Hi Guys Candra Here.

After my shit storm morning and missing the gym yesterday I decided to get together with an old friend

If you didn't read yesterday's post you can here 

I re-read it as realized those of you without kid may think aw that's so cute 

"Her daughter sounds so silly and funny"

"I'm going to love parenting"

Well I have two children who love babysitters so you just let me know! 

Back to my old friend 

I use that term loosely 

Honesty I hate this bitch 

But sometimes she's unavoidable 

Hello Jillian 

We meet again.
I popped in the old Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and I'm not going to lie,
I could not do that shit.
I'm going to chalk it up to me being sick but yuck.
I did some crazy videos on Blogilates instead and still managed to burn 400+calories so I was fine with it.
If you haven't tried any of the blogilates videos you should.
They are good for a quick cardio or some work on a specific trouble spot.
She kind of annoys me but home girl knows how to get it done.
Here are 5 of my favorite videos of hers.
Challenge yourself and do all 5... but don't cry in my coffee if you can't walk tomorrow!

Don't let her high pitched voice, and cheesy settings and theme fool you, this shit burns.

Quick cardio workout. I love this one and she has lots of other cardio pop workout!

This one makes my arms shakeee

Her "Bubble Butt" video also does the trick!

I use this video to prepare me the week before the VS Fashion show...that I'm in....

Who doesn't want to work out their inner thigh! This one is a little repetitive but the next day you are walking around like you were in a rodeo last night... Everyone knows what that looks like right?

Those are my five favorites, which honestly it was hard to choose because she has so many great ones.
You can check them all out here on her Youtube channel.

Because it's Friday and I'm feeling generous here's another one, and nice stretch and relax one!!

If you did any of these (or all of them!!) let me know! I want to know what you thought. Even if you do them my favorite way and just sat on the couch and watched them. Let me know!
Have a good weekend and make sure you come back Monday for my Biggest Loser update!!

I'm linking up with Fantastic Friday, Five on Friday, and That's Fresh Friday

Oh Hey Thursday

I am having a great day despite it's horrrrrible start.

My lovely, sweet, beautiful, caring, daughter is going through a phase that is seriously making me want to punch myself in the face. 

Please please blog land mamas tell me its just a phase and every 3 year old is a punk. 

I've said before and I'll say it again, 

Gym time = ME TIME

I wake my ass up at 4:30 am so I can get a minimum of one hour to myself. 

Last night I though I would be a little ballsy and try to get in another hour of me time.... 

That was a joke. 

I wanted to watch Ravenswood...

TIME OUT.... This show is scaring the shit out of me... are they serious. This is not an ABC Family show. 

I'm mean I'm not complaining but Holy sweet babies. 

Caleb is still hot, and I can't really get over the fact that the other leading male looks like he's wearing a bottom denture.... but I like the ladies and seriously it's creepy. 

TIME IN... So I pop in Ravenswood after letting Mae watch an EXTRA episode of Dora and the questions start...

Why is she wearing that?

Why is he sitting next to her?

Are they drinking coffee?

Did you have your coffee this morning?

Can I have Mabel coffee?

Do you like this show mommy?

Is this your favorite mommy?

Am I your favorite mommy?

Mommy are you listening?

Mommy, mommy, mommy, MOMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYY. 

*insert head explosion here*

I gave up I said its time for bed, for both of us. 

She flipped. 

Cried for an hour and then was up all night coughing. 

Now don't get me wrong I felt horrible but COME ON. I was in and out of her room all night trying to make her feel better, which equal no sleep for me. 

So when my alarm went off this morning I thought Fuck the GYM! 

Then reality hit me and I knew if I went I could leave it all there. 

So I got my ass out of bed and walked out of my room.

MISTAKE NUMBER ONE!

Mabel was already wide awake and followed me into the kitchen, she wanted Fruit Loops, and Chocolate milk and she wanted to finish watching Ravenswood..... ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. 

Needless to say I did not make it to the gym. 

I didn't even get to make myself breakfast. 

Thankfully I only work half days on Thursdays and hopefully I will be able to pull my shit together and get some sort of work in. 

Maybe try a run! 

 

So please assure me this is just a phase and my angelic child will return

And don't go getting all hoity toity on me because I don't need to prove myself as a parent or my parenting techniques... I'm an awesome and badass mudder. uh thank ya. 

To round out this ranting post I'm going to join in on Thankful Thursday, because despite the shit storm I swim in every morning there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. 

• MyFitnessPal, and all the amazing women on there doing an AWESOME job!! Seriously ladies you are doing great, keep it up!
• The This or That Link up, that was crazy! I was not expecting that response and I am so so pumped and thankful. Make sure you join us next week for our 90's edition!! 
• All right I'll say it.. My kids... cause even when they make me want to have a secret hysto, they are damn cute and I love them. 
  
  
  
  

  
  
• My blog friend Katie. I met her through the CaraBox swap and homegirl hooked me up. For real. I will have a reveal post in a few days. 
• Once Upon a Time, I'm not sure how they did it, but they seemed to find the hottest sexiest men to play the hottest sexiest roles. I'm so in. So far in I extend my cardio sessions just so I can keep watching...

Happy Thursday Bitches!! Keep on keeping on, and you can use my mantra today free of charge...

One more day, One more day, One more day. 

Thank You!!

First off I have to say Thank you.

All of you who responded to my post on Monday were so humbling and MOTIVATING. 

You reminded me that this journey is mine, and the only person I need to prove something to is myself. 

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. 

You all provided me with something I have been searching for, for a long long time. 

Ugh I feel like I can't say Thank you enough. 

My heart is seriously overflowing and I don't even have words so I wanted to give back with some inspiration quotes and a really amazing tutorial on how to do your own Chalkboard Quotes like a pro... I have yet to try this one, as I don't have a chalkboard but it looks so simple. 

If any of you use it make sure you send me a picture!! 

The tutorial is from Kristen at Ella Claire and here is the link to the full shabang

I also wanted to give you some of my favorite quotes to inspire you to love life a little more today! 

Linking up with Because Shanna Said So for Random Wednesday

This or That Link up # 1

It's finally time for the long anticipated link up!!

This week is the Parenting Edition, and don't worry if you only have little fur babies you are included too! Just hop over to Kristine's blog for her version of pet-parent friendly questions. 

There are no crazy rule to join this link up, just have fun, and visit a few other blogs!

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<a href="http://www.camoandlipstick.blogspot.com" title="This or That Link Up"><img src="http://i1291.photobucket.com/albums/b543/Ce_Berg/Simple-Colorful-Background_1600x1000_zpsf0a026ed.jpg" alt="This or That Link Up" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

Jodi @ Love and Crayons
Kristine @ Living Barefoot and Crazy
Katie @ Big Apple Girl, Windy City Guy, and an Oklahoma Pooch

1. A night without the kids, or A night with well behaved kids. 

I would probably have to choose a night with well behaved kids, because the hubs and I are super homebodies and our idea of a good night is renting two movies a kid friendly one and an adult friendly one and making movie worthy snacks!

2. Full on tantrum in the grocery store, or Full on tantrum in the movie theater

Well both of these are my worst nightmares, but I would say grocery store because I would just haul my kid out of their and say F the groceries. If I was in a movie theater I would be even more pissed because I spent money. I avoid both by doing both of these activites alone thank you. 

3. Runny nose or Runny bum, 

Yay the joys of parenting. I don't even want to choose one because just thinking about them I am having serious serious flashbacks of horrible events in my life. If I was offered a million dollars I would take runny nose.... I guess

4. Self done haircut, or Self done Sharpie tattoo. 

Tattoo, if my kids cut their hair I would go into meltdown mode with a bottle of wine and a straw while crying under the covers... My daughter is three and she's never had a haircut. Her hair is magical. 

I'm so excited to read everyone's posts!!

Why I'm here...Biggest Loser 1

This Saturday was the first weigh in for the biggest loser challenge.

I wasn't sure I was going to do this.

Not because I don't want to lose weight

Not because I didn't think it would be fun

Because I was scared people wouldn't want me to do it.

I know that sounds crazy
I am a seemingly small person. (that makes me sound like a little person which I am not haha)

I'm 5 foot tall (on a good day) and my official weight was 134.8

While that may not seem like a lot.

I am not comfortable with it

Not because of the number because honestly the number doesn't bother me,

But because when I look in the mirror it's  not how I want to look or feel.

I'm a size 4-6 and yes I am aware this is small and that there are a lot of people out there that strive for this.

The fear of people looking at me and thinking

" why are you here you are already skinny"

Has held me back for so long.

I never joined weight watcher because I didn't want the looks or the comments 

Or the lack of support

Maybe no one would even think that and maybe it's all in my head but I just couldn't do it
I have long heard the comments from family and friends telling me I have no reason to go on a diet, or that I'm making them feel bad about themselves.
I felt guilty and embarrassed.
I didn't want to eat differently because I was sick of hearing I was picky.
I kept quite about my goals because I didn't want the judgement.

Until now

My dreams are stronger than my anxiety and I'm trying really hard not to give a shit what people think 

Or at least what I think they think
I'm not doing this for anyone else.
I am doing it for me.
Well me and my children.
I want them to know eating healthy is okay.
It's okay to be active
and it's more than okay to follow your dreams.

I also promised I would be upfront and honest and bare it all
I wasn't going to show my before pictures, because I don't love looking at them, but I also was afraid of the possible lack of suppport, but going along with my not giving a shit...
here they are

My before pictures 

And yet I still feel like I have to say

"See I am fat" 

I hate that I feel like I have to prove that I'm overweight just to find support. 

I may not have as much to lose as other people but my struggles are just as hard 

I don't want to go to the gym
I like pasta sandwiches dipped in butter cheese sauce washed down by a Dr.Pepper.
I want to eat candy and cupcakes on the couch while I watch trashy reality tv.
I also want to compete in a Bikini Competition

I don't want to be stick thin

I don't want to be a size zero

I want to be comfortable

And proud 

That means more to me than any number 

So that's why I am doing what I am doing 

For me 

Everyone's journey is worth support and encouragement 

So I'm asking for yours. 

Find me on myfitnesspal ( candra_ellen) and call me on my shit

If you see a cupcake on there ask me if it was worth it. 

Every Monday I will post my weight from my weigh in so make sure you check in.
In 10 weeks I'll post another set of pictures. They won't be my "after" pictures, because there is no such thing.
The journey never ends.
I hope you'll join me on mine. 

Don't forget to come back tomorrow for our first This or That link up!!

Here are the questions. 

A night without the kids, or a night with well behaved kids

Full on tantrum in the grocery store, or tantrum in the movie theater

Runny nose, runny bum

Self done haircut, self done sharpie tattoo

November Blooming Belle!!

So I totally thought I posted yesterday and realized this morning that I did not... womp womp.

Anyway this is going to be a quick post but I have some good news!!

I was selected to be Blooming Belles, Belle of November!!
I love this blog, and I have a guest post over there today so go check it out!
Last month was Royal from Royal Proclaims so go check her out too!

If you've visiting from there WELCOME!

Monday will be my first Biggest Loser recap and I'll be posting my starting weight and measurements... probably no pictures haha. I'm not ready for that.

If I'm comfortable with my after pictures I MAY post them when I'm done.

Have a good weekend everyone I'm home with a sick baby, so TV all day it is! Darn...